Fantasy League.

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92 Responses to Fantasy League.

  1. xYETIx says:

    dang it, i had cyclops in the semis.

  2. Chuck says:

    Are they playing basketball?

  3. Ax says:

    What was the outcome of the Elf vs. Yeti minor-final?

    I have my money on Elf.

  4. S. says:

    WTF? Vampire always wins over zombie.

  5. zep says:

    Try this with pirates and ninjas and you’ll have an all-out flamewar on your hands.

  6. Amy says:

    In what sort of world does a zombie beat a werewolf? I mean, I know zombies are all the rage these days, but think about it! A werewolf would have that zombie in pieces before the zombie could say boo.

  7. Gismya says:

    The h-?
    Werewolfs would maul the zombie before it could squeak out a single “Braaaaaaaaains”. And the vampire would kick the zombie as well.

    Otherwise I pretty much agree :)

  8. mooP says:

    I have to disagree with Yeti vs Griffin. I feel like the Griffin would have so many more advantages over the Yeti, and would easily trounce it. Then Centaur vs Griffin would be a really tough call, that could go either way real easily.

  9. Spike says:

    I for one thinks the Gnome wins out.

    Cmon! Gnomes are very magical aside from being very cool.

  10. Ryan says:

    How exactly does a zombie beat a ghost? It certainly can’t eat its brains…

  11. dnm says:

    I’m going to have to echo Spike’s post. I really think the Griffin would have a huge advantage over a Yeti.

  12. Fry says:

    That Zombie beating the Werewolf was a huge upset! Nobody saw that coming in the Third.

    I for one am very sorry to have missed out on the Centaur vs Yeti match, but I don’t get cable.

    I want to know how the heck the Ghost got seeded in against such weak competition.

  13. Steve Nelson says:

    My friend wore only one contact out of the house today. I forwarded her this and told her it was too bad she lost to ghost in the second round…

  14. marcus says:

    Zombie vs. Werewolf is an easy pick if you know what day the game is played. Werewolf only wins that match up once a month.

    Zombie vs. Vampire, must have been a day game.

  15. floormaster squeeze says:

    This was obviously not a seeded tournament.

  16. peterchen says:

    One could claim that even if the werewolf wins against the zombie, the werewolf likely turns into a zombie, so the winier is a… ZOMBIE!

  17. TBerculosis says:

    A Zombie Werewolf combo would be devastating.

  18. pascal says:

    Huge nerds would create a wiki and collect anecdotal evidence from Buffy et al about previous outcomes of the fights.

    So, this is a comic about venn diagrams. Where’s the link?

  19. yefet says:

    i think yeti’s stats have been inflated.

  20. Christopher Thomas says:

    An amusing list along similar lines:

    My favourite part was the bit about Frankenstein’s Monster being the Batman of the monster world (he’s smart enough to figure out most other monsters’ weaknesses).

  21. Stripe says:

    At first I wondered why Ogre didn’t even make the playoffs. But then I realized – No sense of strategy.

  22. Is this a reference to Scribblenauts? Because if it isn’t I’d love to see the outcome that game comes up with…

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  24. Erik says:

    I would like to see this done with better seeding. There’s no way in the world that vampire/witch and zombie/werewolf should be occuring in the first round. Boo-urns. Let’s run this tournament a little better.

  25. Nick says:

    Ghosts and zombies are already dead, and to add insult to injury, ghosts have no bodies. How can a zombie kill a ghost? And how can a bodiless being kill anything.
    Zombie vs Ghost would end in stalemate.

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  27. Sadface says:

    I must say, if you think a gnome beats a fairy, then you have never been to Ireland.

  28. Timm says:

    i’m going to have to call BS on zombies vs Werewolf, ghost vs Zombie, and fairy vs gnome… also elf vs troll is highly questionable. i don’t even see how mermaid got seating. popularity aside, i would’ve put my money on a fairy ghost showdown or a werewolf yeti “beast bowl”.

  29. mordicai says:

    I retort:

    In my estimation it comes down to elf versus cyclops, & elf takes it.

  30. Hatman says:

    vampires can’t beat witches…
    have you READ discworld?

  31. John says:

    The pairings appear to be grouped by genre. Upper left are the undeads. Below that creatures from the fantasy world. Upper right are animal types, and below that are miscellaneous.

  32. Jimbo says:

    Wow, some folks have too much time on their hands to be debating this; myself included. :P Who knows, maybe it was a Twilight (wannabe) Vampire who showed up to the tourney. Even an old school Romero Zombie would chow down on a sparkles, let alone the meth-fueled modern ones.

  33. Leon says:

    Zombies vs vampires looks more like this:

    Although when the vampires explain to the humans why they are there, it ends up like this:

  34. Grinnyguy says:

    I for one think that is the best place to decide which monsters win which battle.

    In the sea, mermaid would easily beat everyone, even a zombie. I’ve never seen a swimming zombie, I imagine them having very poor technique an any stroke you choose to name – even doggy paddle would be clumsy

  35. Sal says:

    I love that this seems to matter to people. And I’m pretty sure the point was really just to make a lovely play on words. Love it!!!

  36. Brandon says:

    NICE! This is the first time I have commented on this blog since started reading a long time ago. Loved this! good change of pace too for this type of “art”

  37. Matthew says:

    Bottom line is, for the final, zombies can’t effect ghosts, but ghosts can effect zombies. So ghosts win.

    However, griffins beat yetis (griffins fly), and cyclops beat ghosts (cyclopses don’t fall for ghost stories), and vampires defeat zombies, since vampires are dead, and zombies require live brains to win.

    So, the whole system has to be reworded, especially if orcs, ents or Maritians are included.


  38. Kevin says:

    I think Santa was screwed out of a playoff birth. Just because he plays in a lesser league than these other monsters. Sure, just because he leaves gifts instead of killing people means he’s not creepy enough. He sneaks into children’s houses and spies on them all year. HE’S A FREAK!!! I’m just saying that he should have been given a chance too, that’s all. (I would have chosen the Succubus anyway… she won me over early on).

  39. Hugo Iwata says:

    Werewolves >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Zombies

  40. Tyler says:

    No way did the Yeti beat the Centaur.

  41. Nora says:

    Good thing there wasn’t a “fairy vs. vampire” round. That would just be that guy from Twilight punching himself.

  42. Rawr says:

    This probably is my favorite so far…so cute! and the comments are entertaining as well

    @Nora: your comment really cracked me up! Nice one! haha!

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  44. ted says:

    ecstatic! greatful dead.

  45. James myers says:

    Goldman Sachs should otta be n there somewhere.

  46. Tim says:

    Chuck Norris, the end :P. No I seriously I must say I disagree with a large portion of this, all one has to do is look at movie survival statistics. Zombies only win due to large numbers. Good work leaving out pirate and ninja though otherwise this page would be half a mile long by now :P. But, for the record, ninjas… or Jack Sparrow, as I believe he is a pirate-ninja-rum cross. (Waits for masses of violence to erupt in his direction).

  47. Matte says:

    Hmmm. Now what kind of mermaid are we talking, here? If it’s a centaur versus your typical, siren-esque mermaid, then sure, the horseman wins. But King Triton? That guy was a beast with his magic trident. If it was him splashing up to battle, that centaur had better watch the hell out!

  48. Dean says:

    Never bet against Zombie…

  49. Andy says:

    This wins!

    Unfortunately, what all the commentors are missing is that this was the Dark Species All-Comers Annual Chess Championship.

    No wonder the zombies won…..

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  51. pat says:

    The witch would DEFINATELY take out the vampire and probably the zombie.

  52. Johnny DBags says:

    the internet largely disagrees with this chart.

  53. Dobie G says:

    So many teen girls (and many of their moms) will be disappointedat the loss of their vampire swoons. Zombies have no romantic appeal…

  54. zapato says:

    I agree that griffin should beat a yeti.

    However, I think everyone has the Zombie-Werewolf upset completely wrong. It should be:
    Werewolf beats Zombie
    (werewolf contracts zombie-virus and
    becomes a werewolf-zombie)
    Werewolf-Zombie beats Vampire
    (werewolf-zombie contracts vampirism, and
    becomes a werewolf-vampire-zombie)
    Ghost beats Werewolf-Vampire-Zombie
    ghost of werewolf-vampire-zombie immediately rises and beats ghost (How could one not become a ghost after such trauma?)

    Ghost-Werewolf-Vampire-Zombie then drains blood, life, brains out of audience, whose ghosts arise to follow their maker to begin an apocalypse.

  55. Twilighter says:

    As usual, the Twi-haters have taken no time to learn the sparklepires mythology. They can’t be staked or otherwise killed by humans, swim great (fast and no need to breathe), and face no physical dangers from sunlight. Werewolves and shapeshifters are all they fear. “Vegetarian” Cullens could eat the Yeti in good conscience.

  56. Robotguy says:

    Notice the lack of info in the diagram about what sport this is. The trick it to find a sport that would result in the results shown.

    My guess is that it’s an Otherworld RPS Society tournament.

  57. Kent says:

    Seems a bit sexist. Witch, Fairy, mermaid, and succubus all lose on their first round?

  58. Josh says:

    This bracket sucks! You’re totally gonna lose the office pool.

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  60. bob says:

    I think the number and intensity of comments should make another indexed cartoon!

  61. Maurog says:

    The Annual Brain Eating Contest is concluded!

    (if you’re surprised that a ghost made it to the finals, keep in mind that it was Slimer)

  62. Lex says:

    I’m surprised no one has commented on the elf > troll upset. That one almost bankrupted Vegas.

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  65. gailT says:

    I love this. I had to get out of my feeds to comment on how great this is. thanks.

  66. Yeti says:

    HOW did the yeti not win?!?!

  67. Tim says:


    Dude elf beats troll every time, at least if we’re talking like full breed DnD or Tolkien style elf… especially Drow. If we’re talking House elf? Troll has the upper hand… And then depends on your troll, are we talking ogre-esque Harry POtter troll, or little troll under the bridge? Or even better Monty Python’s bridge troll thing.

    The main trouble here is a lack of frame of reference!


    Bravo my friend, bravo.

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  69. RAY J says:

    I take you haven’t read any of the Sookie Stackhouse books (aka True Blood) – the fairies in that universe are quite the nasty buggers!

  70. TJ says:

    You know, everyone keeps saying X would beat Y, but haven’t you guys ever heard of upsets?

  71. Sadface says:

    I still feel that the fae are being shunted into a corner. We’re talking eldritch primordial entities that embody nature’s wrath. How does a gnome kill that?

    Also, it all depends on the vampire myth. If it’s Dracula, the werewolf would bow down in supplication. If it was Anne Rice, the witch would voodoo it down in the first round. In Sookie Stackhouse the werewolf might not quite destroy it.

    And for the record, it says “mermaid”, not “mer”. So it’s the sirenesque version.

    If the troll was a rock-frozen-in-sunlight-type, the elf would get smashed and the battle against the fae would depend on the type of fae. A troll and a vampire would both be impervious except in sunlight (which a troll would merely survive) and a troll could crush the werewolf or zombie.

    If it’s the ogre-type troll, the elf slaughters it and then gets flower-petals shoved down its throat.

    Also, the type of ghost matters. If we assume vengeful spirit, it would encourage the growth of a zombie apocalypse and then wait for all the zombies to starve. Or just kill the zombie. If it’s just the weepy type it loses to the succubus.

  72. Sara says:

    I agree with Kent. I’m a little sad to see that none of the necessarily female beings won a single match.

  73. geeklikeme says:

    I expected better of the succubus…

  74. Stevenson214 says:

    There is no way a single zombie is going to be a match for any of them. The only thing zombies have going for them is sheer numbers. One on one zombies suck. If any of the magic realms could decrease their numbers they’re child’s play.

  75. Nicole says:

    Finally I enjoy the posts as much as the diagram!

  76. Stevenson214 says:

    The problem is that witches magic only works against the living. So going up against a vampire in the first round?

  77. jjofearth says:

    where were the ninjas, man?

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  80. Dreamseeker says:

    Zombie shouldn’t have won any of those fights.

  81. Thrawn-Viers says:

    Tomb is right, IMO. The reason the zombie is winning is because regardless of the original zombie’s state, the werewolf gets infected, etc. (Also, re: being able to beat the ghost, in its last iteration, I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the people by the end had shown up w/ a manner of beating ghosts (proper preparation >_>)

    Also, at yeti haters: You realize that the gryphon et al have to approach to engage him in a fight? At that point he totally has the advantage.

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  83. Fenton says:

    No way… Changeling all the way !!

    Definitely beat Yeti and have a good shot at Zombies. Granted that Zombies are dead and all. But Changeling can regenerate by switching to a different character, and so up their lifeforce. Here’s a total viable tactic that I’ve seen them do, switch up to a blonde bimbo, go into heat and pump up hormones while f*ckin’ a Yeti and then switch down to a teenage masturbator. Rapid fire zombie-dicer everytime!

    Granted the zombies got Bushes and Obamas, but they are dead! All them changelings gotta do is bit off their heads like good ole Ozzie. Give a hormone crazed teenager an M16 and you got ‘Semper Fi’, baby! Rock and Roll !

    Changelings rock! Go Changelings!

  84. Everett says:

    To me it looks like this is based on box office sales!

  85. Steve S says:

    Witch and Succubus should be the final, hands down. Witch has magic and Succubus is a powerful demon spawned from Satan. This trumps everything else.

  86. I’m slightly confused…was this a sporting event or a battle of the warlords? And how do you bracket that.

  87. Daniel says:

    *sigh* I found it entertaining. Don’t forget, werewolf = strong but zombie = stronger. Weird, zombies have no pain, skin and muscle and everything falling off, but always eat, always strong, always single minded…. brains :)

  88. Matthew says:

    I have to say, I disagree with almost every single one of these…

  89. Arvid says:

    One zombie might fall, but he brought a few million friends. Then there would be a zombie werewolf?

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