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This site is a little project that lets me make fun of some things and sense of others. I use it to think a little more relationally without resorting to doing actual math.Subscribe
This site is a little project that lets me make fun of some things and sense of others. I use it to think a little more relationally without resorting to doing actual math.
Clever & cute!
cute? sad is more like it. the title is just painful for someone who grew up in an alcoholic household :(
I’m sure you could have thought of one more situation where A is true?
Sports fans, teams, and sex.
Some families have a lot of screaming and a lot of love; some have no screaming and no love. So in regard to this particular graph: meh.
Usually you are much much better. :-)
Wow…tough crowd!
So true…
As a fan of many losing teams, I find I scream more when they lose …
Intersection of A&B = little league tournament
This is the first one I can’t really agree with. Just because a parent screams at their kid doesn’t mean they don’t love them. It’s more of a representation of frustration than a lack of love.
ITT: Screamy parents get pissy because they don’t know how to spank
Huh, I parsed it as “the more a kid screams, the less loveable they are, and the same is true for parents” Which, though it might be sort of true, isn’t much funnier than the other interpretations.
–Ember–
Well, almost, ’cause when kids are growing up, they scream a lot, and sometimes you scream back.
Too all of you who feel that this graph isn’t valid or accurate…
If *I* scream at your kid (or spank him/her as at least one who seem to prefer) .. I can get into some serious legal troubles… especially for hitting … errrr spanking….
But if the parent is doing it … it’s ok?
Why is a non-parent hitting a child abuse, but a when parent hits their own child thats “just the way it works” ????? BULL!
Hitting is not loving. Neither is screaming.
Just because you were raised in an abusive household does not mean you need to carry on the tradition.
Hitting (including spanking) is physical abuse, regardless who is doing it.
Screaming/yelling is emotional/mental abuse, regardless of who is doing it.
Yes, abusers may think they love the person they are abusing, but it is not love. (It’s just the closest approximation that the abusers knows … hate.)
I’m with Ember on this one. Screaming kids are really annoying, I’d imagine, to their parents. I don’t have my own kids, but my nieces and nephews can get really unbearable. Not to say I love them less necessarily, but I don’t love being AROUND them when they’re screaming.
I didn’t interpret this at all to be parents screaming at their kids. I’m rejecting that one for peace of mind.
Wulfe, screaming isn’t always indicative of emotional/mental abuse. I don’t think I was emotionally abused by my parents who screamed, loudly, when they saw that I had taken everything out of the fridge and opened it all up and put it all around the kitchen. It was a stupid, rude thing to do, and they explained that to me once they stopped freaking out about it. But was that abuse? No way!
And there’s a big difference between spanking and screaming and hitting. Spanking and screaming occur with the intention to teach a valuable lesson. Hitting occurs with the intention to hurt. I don’t think I was ever spanked or yelled at because my parents wanted to hurt me. That’s bogus.
I don’t think this graph is accurate. I’ve seen you do better!
Hitting to make it hurt *is* teaching a lesson. “Hitting hurts, and it’s OK to hurt other people.”
Hitting to punish is the same lesson.
Hitting a child to teach them to pick up toys, or to stop hitting or to not play with fire, etc … only teaches them this: “Hitting hurts, and it’s OK to hurt other people. But if I don’t want to be hurt, I’d better [not do | do] that thing when you’re around.”
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What about the combination of parents, kids, sports fans and teams at Little League ball games?
Hey guys,
once again some explanation seems to be needed on how to read such a graph. You know: it usually goes like: “” implies “” – not the other way round! And implications usually don’t work both ways (though mathmatical functions tend to – but this clearly isn’t). So if you read it this way it says:
A) The more sports fans love their teams the louder/more their screaming
B) The more love between parents and their children the less screaming between them.
And I actually think that this makes some sense, doesn’t it? (though there might be exceptions, of course, that I can’t think of now)
uhm. something went wrong with my comment (some weird html-replacement it seems):
there should have been printed:
“{a value on the horizontal axis}” implies “{a value on the vertical axis}”
(“<” and “>” converted the following “a” into a link or something …)
wulfe, if your kid dies in a fire because they didnt take you seriously the first time you told them not to play with matches…
not punishing a child in a way they understand teaches them a lesson, that to misbehave carries no consequences
My 5 children are all well behaved, and follow instructions, rules and commands because they understand real world consequences, not because they are afraid of being hit or screamed at or any other form of abuse.
If they don’t play with matches (as in your example) because we’ve shown them how powerful and uncontrollable fire can be. They’ve participated fire safety courses via scouting, school and our own field trips as a family. They’ve seen burned out houses, they’ve watched videos on how fast a fire goes from a match-sized flame to no more house. We’ve done hands on demonstrations on a smaller scale as well.
Real world consequences teach far better than abuse.
Kids staying up too late at night? They’ll be tired the next day. And we don’t cut them any slack, because it is their own fault they’re tired. And we point that out. Real world consequences.
Works for everything from little things like bed time, and big things like playing with matches.
Abusing a child does nothing but make them afraid of you. They only learn that they should behave a certain way when you are around. They do not learn to never or always behave that way.
Spanking is abuse. Screaming is abuse. Withholding affection is abuse. Plain and simple, no exceptions.
Do I ever lose my cool and scream? Yes, it happens, but I always try my hardest to stop the cycle by giving myself a moment to chill, before re-approaching the situation in a more reasonable manner. I also apologize for exhibiting behaviour that is unacceptable. I don’t want them to scream at others (or me) so screaming is a behaviour we discourage.
Every little thing you do to your children is teaching them how they should act. If you hit them, they will hit others. If you scream at them, they will scream at others. If you raise them that abusing children is the way to raise children, they will abuse their children.
It’s showing a correlation, not a cause and effect. I think it’s quirky and insightful (and not intended to be any more serious than that).
Um. First, spanking is used to EMBARRASS a child, not physically punish them. But people don’t know that. It eventually stops working cause the child doesn’t care so the parent does something more painful. In most instances it is moving from an open hand spank, (legal), to a belt/wooden spoon/spatula, (illegal). I would know. I used to get spanked all the time.