Their minions are legion.

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25 Responses to Their minions are legion.

  1. Rachel says:

    God or the universe, whichever comes first. Haven’t we supposedly been approaching Armageddon for about a century now?

  2. boris says:

    A century? I thought we’ve been aproaching it ever since religion was invented. Have to admit though – we’ve never been so close before.

  3. strayhikder says:

    Seriously, we were closer with the previous US administration

  4. Stripe says:

    Well, in truth, He never really had a chance.

    But Rejoice, for Dog is Risen!

    Rise up, people of the world, for this darkened hour marks the start of your New Day! Trust in Dog, and squander not your days in dedication to another false Master!

  5. Hannah says:

    I like them Jonas boys. ;)

  6. Danbo says:

    Wow, this one took me awhile to get. I’m not going to lie, I had to go to wikipedia to figure it out.

  7. FTBC says:

    You want to mate who with what now?

  8. demon says:

    who are gog and magog? and if u think about it we have been approching armageddon since the beginning of time. every day we are just another day closer to it, no matter what the current conditions are.

  9. Bret says:


  10. Jamie says:

    “Armageddon, as in ‘I’m a gettin’ outta here!'”

    It works better spoken. Doomsayers are good entertainment.

  11. schism says:

    @demon: Gog and Magog are mentioned in the book of Ezekiel, representing either veiled references to particular nation-states or the entire world’s turning against Jerusalem (or at least the Jews).

    Or, to Left Behind fans, they represent a prediction of Russia and Ethiopia launching a nuclear war against Israel. Apparently, Ezekiel was *very* clever. And batshit insane. And obsessed with animal…”emissions.”

  12. David says:

    The tradition of Gog and Magog (Hebrew: גוג ומגוג‎; Arabic: يأجوج و مأجوج‎) begins in the Bible with the reference to Magog, son of Japheth, in the Book of Genesis and continues in cryptic prophecies in the Book of Ezekiel which are echoed in the Book of Revelation and in the Qur’an. The tradition is very ambiguous, with even the very nature of the entities differing between sources. They are variously presented as men, supernatural beings (giants or demons), national groups, or lands. Gog and Magog occur widely in mythology and folklore.

  13. Jez says:

    What’s wrong with Gog and Magog?

    I dunno about the bible, but I go by things that are PROVED to be real, and so obviously know that they’re infact the two giants who created and protected London!

  14. matt says:

    Can someone explain Jonas and Cyrus then?
    If they are other figures from Revelation showing that Armageddon is near, I’m not sure why the centre of the diagram says “God is doomed.” He’s the one orchestrating it all and bringing judgement on the world. And if you read to the end of Revelation it talks about how His kingdom will last forever and ever. It’s the dragon who’s doomed.

  15. schism says:

    @matt: Cyrus = ancient Persia and Jonas = the Jonas Brothers. Basically, between Gog, Magog, Persia, and legions of squealing teenagers, even an omnipotent deity is woefully outmatched.

  16. Kurt McKee says:

    @schism: It seems like Cyrus would refer to “Miley Cyrus”, not “Persia”.

  17. schism says:

    @Kurt: Ah, I hadn’t thought of that. Makes more sense.

  18. liss says:

    it’s surprising you didn’t connect jonas brothers and miley cyrus. they’re both horrible. and it’s not screaming teenagers, but preteens.

  19. FTBC says:

    They are abominations engineered by Disney and unleashed upon the Earth to drown out the sound of good, creative music with their cookie-cutter DisneyPop. The screaming of their spoon-fed fans only adds to the aural misery.

  20. schism says:

    @liss: Not really. I rarely remember that either one exists; recalling both at once is practically impossible.

  21. matt says:

    @schism: thanks for explaining :)

  22. SporkTastic says:

    @FTBC: The term “aural misery” has now joined my descriptive vocabulary concerning country music. ;-P


  23. cmrtroi says:

    Re Cyrus and Jonas:

    They *ensure* God’s future.

    As in “OMG!! I *looove* that song!!!!”

    Thank God (seriously now), none of my kids were ensnared by either circle.

    BTW: Does Radio Disney play in hell, and if so, which of Dante’s circles blasts a continuous loop soundtrack of Miley and which blasts Jonas Brothers?

  24. tahrey says:

    boris, strayhidker: we’re not counting the 1960s thru 80s, and maybe 1939~45, then?

  25. hern says:

    When I saw the Gog and Magog references I thought of the show Andromeda, and the Magog race which sought to conquer the Commonwealth, although the biblical references make a little more sense.