Nope, I’m not dead.

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27 Responses to Nope, I’m not dead.

  1. Rod says:

    Someone please forward this anonymously to my son. His mom will love you for it

  2. jerryadams says:

    abso-freaking-lutely true!

  3. Josh says:

    I think you mean “I’m not dead…or in trouble.” right?

  4. Neo says:


    Will address my phone calls with my mother with said model from here on out.

  5. Heh…you obviously haven’t met my mom.

    Horizontal line across the top of the graph – small dip somewhere in the middle that moves left & right over time so you never know exactly where it is…

    I guess Indexed hasn’t figured out 3-D graphs yet, huh?

  6. NancyJak says:

    Oh my gosh — I need to print this out for my freshman in college son.
    If I text him and get nothing back I always worrryyyyy!!!!!

  7. Sandra says:

    This is hilarious! This has been my usual communication method with my son since he went to college. Funny how many sons (few daughters) do not keep in touch, even minimally with their moms….

  8. michael h says:

    The pattern starts early. Son left home at age 10 for a week at computer camp, called 0 times, came home to mom’s lecture – “at least let us know you are not dead”. One year later, son leaves for computer camp again, after 3 days an e-mail arives “I’m not dead yet”. No further communication ensued.

  9. J Haney says:

    After three unanswered calls to the
    child(ren)in question, I leave a final
    one threatening to call
    a) the State Patrol
    b) Campus security

    That usually gets the phone to ring.

  10. E Haney says:

    Addendum to response by J Haney:

    This is, in fact, true. She called the Alabama State Patrol after not hearing from my brother for several days. The State Patrol found him and told him to call his mother.

  11. Hayden says:

    The axis is the wrong way around :-(

    FYI: Should be calls vs worries, not the way you have it…

    just semantics i guess :-)

  12. Linguist says:

    distance vs. worry is another chart altogether. but it looks much the same.

  13. To Hayley: says:

    Yes, but if you made it calls vs worries and the graph remained the same, you’d have many calls for almost no worry – in fact, nigh infinite calls for infinitesimal worry. If you wanted to do that, you’d have to make it an exponential graph instead of a parabola. Actually, it doesn’t make sense, the fact that high initial worry warrants almost no calls home… hm.

  14. Briar says:

    Hayden: WTF.

    PS – You’re not that bright, are you?

  15. Chris says:

    The axes are the right way round. The Value on the Y axis is dependent on the value on the X axis. In this case, as the number of calls home increases from zero, parental worry declines. However, when the calls home become too frequent, parental worry increases again.

  16. Awesome, I like that one! And it fits my calling pattern with Mom.

  17. Alexandra says:

    My poor dad us subject to the same worries. I called him once a week for a year and he was fine. When I recently started calling him 4 or 5 days a week I could hear his blood pressure rising through the phone.

  18. James says:

    I think he was looking at it from the mum making the calls:


  19. AxisArg says:

    It doesn’t really matter how the axes are arranges. Here, one could imagine that neither variable is strictly exogenous. Calls home has an effect on how much mom worries, but certainly how much one’s mom worries affects how much one calls her, too?

  20. Hayden says:

    ta James. agreed AxisArg ;-) there is a bidirectional correlation, and axis just depends if you or your mum is the one that always does the calling.

  21. Wait a tick says:

    On the left side of the axes, though… the more mom worries, the fewer calls home? How does that make sense? At first, she approaches infinite worry, and also approaches zero calls home. I thought the joke was supposed to be, the more mom worries, the more she calls you. I thought the joke was funny, I’m just questioning the validity of the graph.

  22. Wait a tick says:

    An exponential function would have been better suited to this one, I think.

  23. Pingback: FamilyGreenberg.Com - Not Dead Yet

  24. Caitlin says:

    My mother once called the police after being unable to find my sister. They arrived, asked us to double check everywhere we’d looked, and I found said sister under the blankets in her room. She insisted she hadn’t heard us calling (even though my mother shouted after her in the doorway of the room).
    Police were not amused.

  25. Jillian says:

    I don’t understand how people cannot call their parents! I am a senior in college and I call my mother 2-3 times a day!

  26. Dreamseeker says:

    Bah. If my mother worries, she can read my blog. Of which I haven’t told her about.