Why teachers drink.

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36 Responses to Why teachers drink.

  1. Nathan says:

    As a former math teacher, let me be the first to say, “Thank You!” ;-)

  2. rydenbreeze says:

    this cracked me up!

  3. Anonymous says:

    lol, i am dying to see what was said that had to be removed!

  4. Anonymous says:

    alright, this one totally went over my head…. HUH?

  5. Pastafarian says:

    I’m similarly confused. What do helicopters crashing have to do with obnoxious parents?

  6. trillian42 says:

    Obnoxious parents these days are known as “Hellicopter parents” — as in, they hover. For the kid’s whole life. I think there was a Times article on it.

  7. Anonymous says:

    And the lawsuit? I still don’t get it… some news I haven’t heard about some parents suing school for their son being a moron?

  8. Anonymous says:

    ok, I just read about those helicopter parents… now I get it.

  9. J.Ro says:

    The first thing I think of is No Child Left Behind . . .

  10. Azzinita says:

    As a substitute teacher who’s had to deal with many a strange parental phone call, it is so, so true.

  11. The Cute One says:

    these always make me smile and this one is just a super true observation on modern parenting, which is to say, they hover, haha

  12. Anonymous says:

    i don’t get it

  13. Anonymous says:

    I’m a high school English teacher. I love this site, and this post could not be more true. I teach in a college town, and even some of the professors at our large, well-respected university have told us that parents have started emailing them about kids’ grades. It’s completely ridiculous.

  14. Rebecca Thomas says:

    It’s funny because it’s so painfully true!

  15. The Serrano Boy says:

    thanks. i am a teacher

  16. Katie says:

    As a high school teacher who just got home from a 5 hour happy hour after week two of school, I say AMEN

  17. eigenvector says:

    Fellow commenters: Thank you for explaining this one. It’s been a while since I was a parent, but once I ‘got’ the helicopter parent concept I really laughed! Jessica Hagy is brilliant!

  18. Anonymous says:

    As I tell the nosey brats that keep asking, “Do you drink?”
    I only drink to forget about you.
    I have changed the way I score (not grade) assignments because of helicopter parents. I know have codes that I use to denote why something is scored a zero.If they keep asking for it, I’ll end my last conversation with them by saying, “When (the precious snowflake’s name) cares about his grade as much as you and I, then we’ll see the improvement that we both want.” It’s always the last time they try to talk to me.

    • Cire Jay says:

      “I know have codes that I use to denote why something is scored a zero.”
      Your sentence gets a zero. Do you KNOW why?

  19. Raison d'être says:

    Lol.. that yell reminds me of my dad!!

  20. Anonymous says:

    Ah, yes…These are the same parents who say things like, “My darling child has been (INSERT BAD BEHAVIOR HERE). Now which kid is he/she picking that up from?”

  21. Anthony says:

    A helicopter parent is a term for a person who pays extremely close attention to his or her child or children, particularly at educational institutions. They rush to prevent any harm or failure from befalling them or letting them learn from their own mistakes, sometimes even contrary to the children’s wishes. They are so named because, like a helicopter, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not. In Scandinavia, this phenomenon is known as curling parenthood – describing parents who sweep all obstacles off ahead of their children.

    An extension of the term, “Black Hawks,” has been coined for those who cross the line from a mere excess of zeal to unethical behavior such as writing their children’s college admission essays. (The reference is to the military helicopter of the same name.)

    Thanks for clueing me in on a new phrase. I had no idea.

  22. tia says:

    Thanks, Jessica!

    –6th grade teacher

  23. Suzie says:

    Oh my god… I hate “those” parents.

  24. Mike Williams says:

    I just found your site. I love it! Very cool.

  25. Justin says:

    *shakes head* Wow. That one…it took me a minute to get that.

  26. Anonymous says:

    on behalf of all teachers – thank you hagy! you’re brilliant.

  27. A Paperback Writer says:

    I’ve taught junior high for 20 years. Believe me; I definitely “get” this one!! Unfortunately, I “get” it all the time. (Sigh.)
    This is so beautiful. And parent-teacher conferences are approaching……

  28. Anonymous says:

    agh, my kids are still infant and toddler age.

    i really hope i don’t become one of “those” parents when they start school!

  29. Anonymous says:

    Parent: “Billy can’t get a ‘C.'”
    Me (in my head): Yes, he can. Because he is.

  30. CWB says:

    as a former teacher of high school and undergrad students who now (THANKFULLY) teaches at a community college where most students are second-career seekers and therefore independent adults, i have to heartily agree with this model. granted, since i went back to grad school myself my alcohol consumption has more or less maintained a steady state….

  31. showman_44221 says:


    Very Insightful !

  32. Anonymous says:

    This is wonderful! I have to tell you that I recently attended a conference of partners of CPA firms and one asked the other 60 if any of them had yet received phone calls from the parents of their young employees asking why Johnny didn’t get that promotion or raise. Several CPA firm owners (at least 5 of the 60) said that, yes, they have received such calls. Helicoptering doesn’t end after school…so terribly sad, isn’t it?

  33. Anonymous says:

    wow. Dead on.

    I’m a physics professor, typically teaching introductory and second year physics, at a fairly large 4 year university and the worst thing in the world is having to deal with these helicopter parents who haven’t understood that they can’t keep doing this when their baby is in college.

    At least the great thing about being in a college town is that there’s no shortage of bars to go to. And former students who love to buy me drinks too.

  34. Twelve years and eleven says:

    Wow this brings back memories from school. Brilliant blog…just found it through a friend.

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